Compromise and Conceit

Infernal adventuring…

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An Australian statistician and role-player living in Japan, interested in the theory and practice of role-playing…

  • Current viewing: Monsters vs. Aliens

    I am not a big fan of Pixar productions, for the prime and simple reason that, like most western cartoons, and particularly like their Masters at Disney, they are overbearingly misogynist. Well, not as much as Disney itself, which I contend employs a misogynator, a special staff member whose job is running around the creative department butchering any scene or plot which threatens to represent women in a good light. But Pixar comes a close second, ensuring that, for example, in Monsters Inc the only female characters are a jealous clingy bimbo or an old hag. Their stories are also transparently boys-own-adventures, not aimed at or even thinking about potential girl viewers. For one or two movies this is bearable, but when you start to see the pattern, it becomes a real turn-off. Particularly compared to Studio Ghibli.

    This is not true for Dreamworks, though I grant you I’m not that familiar with their work and Antz was certainly a shocking piece of (how come woody allen gets to do nothing but whine and squeal, and then gets credit for everything at the end?) But Shrek ran a very fine line in girl-targeted viewing, as well as being an excellent adventure and really funny. Monsters vs. Aliens is a similar type of movie, but with an even more transparently girl-power storyline, and applying the genre-bending fun-and-games of Shrek to science-fiction and horror movies.

    Genre-bending is of course an excellent way to make a childrens’ movie fun for adults, and this movie is no exception. I think it has a nod to every major sci-fi ever made, as well as some cool references to anime, old-school Japanese monster movies, and some b-grade horror references. I’m sure insectosaurus starts off as a weird insecty totoro, which is a perfect nod to Miyazaki’s most famous 2 movies. There are also visual moments – such as when the lead character is hanging from the bottom of the alien ship – which are obviously nods to screen captures from famous movies. And the whole thing has a liberating feeling of empowerment and joy. The final message is even positive, which I can’t say I thought of the original Shrek movie[1]. The first half of this movie is unrelentingly funny, as well.

    My flatmate, who is a computer graphics researcher but doesn’t have his own blog (wtf omg) tells me that Pixar’s animation is slightly more sophisticated. Well, I don’t know much about animation, but I know what I like, and I prefer my animation to be at least 10% non-sexist, so I can’t bear Pixar anymore (and what was with the rat-in-the-soup movie anyway?) In any case, there were scenes in this movie which were art, sweety-dahling, even if they weren’t perfectly animated (not that I could have noticed, my eyes have a 3 fps limit). And the key to a good animation is not the animation, anyway, but the plot and the action sequences. This is why Castle of Cagliostro is better than Toy Story…

    Anyway, having padded out this post with a whole series of obviously completely subjective comparisons of “A is better than B so nyaaaah I’m right!”[3], I should finish by recommending this movie highly. Go and see it, especially if you like sci-fi genre-bending.

    —-

    [1] Shrek claims to have a moral that even the ugliest person is beautiful to someone, but this isn’t strictly true. What it actually says is that if you are of the same race or class as another ugly person, they will find you pretty because they are cosmologically designed to, even if to everyone else you are a butt-ugly troll. The princess’s ugliness was an objective fact to the viewer, it just so happened that the lead character is not human, so has different standards. This isn’t quite as nasty an ending as the Breakfast Club[2], which has to be the most misinterpreted and deceitful ending in cinema.

    [2] which, how the fuck can anyone think this movie has a positive ending? Halfway through the movie the nerdy kid predicts that on monday everyone will go back to being themselves, and pretend the weekend never happened, which is exactly what happens, except that the gothy girl pulls the jock and so therefore throws away her gothiness, which was all just an act until she could get in with the popular crowd. This is treachery on so many levels, particularly because you’re led to believe that the nerdy kid was going to be wrong until the very end, when the writer sticks the knife in and twists.

    [3] It’s an internet movie review kids, what were you expecting, deconstructionist marxism?

  • Feng Shui’s strange future “dystopia”

    Our DM (who is so old-fashioned he doesn’ t even have a blog) is drip-feeding us information about the Feng Shui world, so I can’t say too much about where we are or what we are doing, but our characters have ended up in 2056 in a strange future “dystopia” controlled by a bunch of transdimensional lunatics called the Architects of the Flesh. I suggested to the other players last night that this dystopia’s properties say a lot more about the politcs and insecurities of the authors than it does about the evils of the Architects of the Flesh. I originally thought that the properties of the 2056 dystopia marked out the writers as a bunch of libertarians, but now I’m not sure if they are right-wing or moderate liberal Americans. Here’s a list of the properties of the world in 2056 which are supposedly different from the world of 1996, and what political leanings I think they point to:

    • There are no cars: In 2056, cars have been banned “for environmental and health reasons”, which is a classic fear of libertarians and small govt right-wingers everywhere. First they imposed speed limits, then they took your cars, etc. Margaret Thatcher once made a beautiful comment about how every new car on the road was a new conservative voter, and followed it up with some nice observations about how the Tory party were trying to change peoples’ minds as well as the economy (look it up in Prospect magazine ). So this is a tick for “writers are crazed libertarians”. Even East Germany had private cars!
    • First they came for our guns…: In 2056, the Architects are trying to abolish the study of martial arts, having already banned all guns. This is a classic fear of libertarians everywhere, and the American right generally. Compare this dystopia with the classic cyberpunk dystopia, where everyone has access to guns. Obviously a choice was made in this regard. And the slippery slope logic that since they banned guns, now they’re going to ban martial arts, is just classic unmarked-helicopter stuff.
    • There is a minimum wage!: Obviously most societies have a minimum wage now. Making a point about this when describing your vision of a dystopia as if it’s a bad thing is like a big neon sign saying “I’m a libertarian fuckstick”.
    • You can’t earn more than £1 million!!!: The guidelines state explicitly that there is an upper limit to the amount a person can earn, which is 40 times the minimum wage. It’s also pretty clear from the text that there is no tax in this dystopia (bit weird, that, we’ll get onto it…). In London today the minimum wage is £5.73 before tax, which means that this dystopia would have a maximum wage of about £240 an hour before tax. That’s about £500,000 a year. Of course, on the minimum wage you don’t pay much tax – to get an after-tax income 40 times the after tax income of the minimum wage, you would need to be earning close to £1 million in London. The text states that this wage can only be earned by 60 categories of person. Doesn’t sound so bad to me! And in these straitened times, it’s hard to imagine many people getting up in arms over the fact that they can only earn a million a year. This seems like a classic libertarian fear – that people will be banned from earning more money than they will ever actually get a chance to earn.
    • Rent is 30% of your after-tax income: this is presented as if it were a bad thing. For the last 10 years of the housing bubble, you’d be pretty hard-pressed to find someone who paid this low a proportion of their after tax income in rent or mortgage. In fact, it’s below most definitions of housing distress. But in the text it’s presented as if it’s a catastrophe. (Admittedly in the tax-free dystopia (?!) this also means you pay 30% of your before-tax income on rent. But I know people in London working full time who pay 70% or more of their  before-tax income on rent – on a room). I’m not sure what political streak this shows, except perhaps “trustifarian” (I live in mummy’s house, and the thought of paying more than nominal rent frightens me) or council estate bludger (ditto, but replace “mummy” with “govt”) or, I suppose, cheeto eating wingnut who lives in mummy’s basement and doesn’t know the price of eggs
    • There are no taxes: This is a big hint at socialist writers. Only socialists would imagine that you don’t pay taxes in dystopia.
    • Everything is pay-per-use: even the slidewalks! This suggests the writers aren’t libertarians, since libertarians would have this property in their utopia. But maybe it just means they’re stupid? Or socialists? Imagine a pay-per-use NHS…

    On balance this suggests to me that the writers are naive or libertarians or both (the two go together don’t they?) They could be just trying to make an original dystopia, but a dystopia which suits feng shui would be cyberpunk, not this weird version of socialism.

    A few other small points would be in order about how futuristic and dystopic their vision of 1996 is. In this dystopia:

    • the food is tasteless
    • the clothes are grey and everyone wears the same style
    • the cops kill people by pushing them over until they die
    • there are CCTV cameras everywhere
    • all the products are sold by one shop

    Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but a society where everyone wears the same clothes, eats tasteless food, lives under the gaze of cctv cameras, pays for everything as they use it, and doesn’t have any guns, buys everything from one shop , and lives in terror of the police sounds an awful lot like London now. They just need to ban cars and put a limit on how much you can earn (a popular suggestion at present, due to the credit crunch) and they can rebrand the government as the Architects. If the wage limit is more than most people ever have a chance of earning (say, a million pounds) and one works inside the congestion zone, one pretty much wouldn’t notice the difference…

  • Current reading: The New Politics of the NHS

    …by Rudolf Klein.

    Sometimes I feel my contribution at work is entirely too technical, so I have decided to broaden my knowledge of the political context of my work by reading this excellent introduction. This seems particularly apt since although I lived in England as a child, and have a British Citizenship, I am essentially Australian and my knowledge of the National Health Service (NHS) must necessarily be at something of a remove. So I hauled it out of the King’s Fund Information Centre on Friday and have read quite a bit already during the long and complex railway meanderings of my weekend.

    This book traces the philosophical and political debates surrounding the formation, management and renewal of the NHS since its inception in 1948. Given that the NHS was the first single payer national health system in the world, and radical at the time, this makes the topic marginally interesting even from the perspective of someone whose job does not directly involve this well-respected institution. The book gives both a context for the “radicalism” that the NHS represented, and a cogent analysis of the competing interests of its progenitors and its management. It’s interesting that things which can seem so radical and new from the outside can actually, upon closer inspection, be seen to have been at least in part just the natural consequence of the muddled ideas of a bunch of pragmatists, and the NHS is no exception, as one sees in the first chapter. And really, I think in the end this is a more interesting discovery than if one were to learn that the NHS sprang fully-formed and novel from the madcap ideas of a pure Socialist dictator. It makes it seem simultaneously both grander and more humble than such a project, and makes clear that while from the outside the NHS may have seemed a radical idea worth copying (as indeed it has been), from within it was a natural continuation of more than ten years of tinkering.

    So far this book has been interesting and insightful, and already I’m able to draw parallels and contrasts between the policy debates of then and now. It will help at the very least in establishing a context for what I do. But for a non-professional reader, who can stand a little dry historical writing – and particularly for my American reader, for whom the topic of health care reform remains rather more topical than perhaps it is in England – I recommend it (or at least the first few chapters) as an insight into the nature of a single payer health system, and the political realities which drive its creation. I think it will be fascinating to read, 50 years from now, the equivalent account of the health care reform which America has to have…

  • Reconfiguring AD&D: Character Creation

    Following the discussion of RPG systems with class vs. those without class, I feel now is the perfect time to present my “classless” (but tasteful!) version of the d20 character development system. I hope the brief notes presented here serve to outline how it works without too much concentration on the detail.

    Liberating hit points and saves from class

    The main way in which class is important in D&D3.5 is in the assignment of feats, saving throws and HPs to classes. The feats part is easy to change, but liberating saving throws and HPs from their class origins requires a little more care. This is done in Compromise and Conceit by turning both Hit Points and saving throws into skills. The four skills for all saving throws are:

    Fortitude: Fortitude is the skill which determines your resistance to poison, disease, etc., and also the number of wounds you can suffer before dying.

    Reflexes: Your save against traps, elemental spells, and also your difficulty to hit in combat.

    Will: Your save vs. mind attack spells

    Presence: Your coolness under fire, used to determine intiative and for resistance to  fear

    Every wound suffered is a -1 penalty on all actions; so there is a direct trade-off between ranks in fortitude and other key skills.

    Other key skills: Base Attack, Spellcraft and Concentration

    Concentration: serves the same role as in the d20 system, but also determines how many fatigues a spell-caster can suffer from failing to beat spell DCs

    Spellcraft: spell attacks are resolved as a challenged skill check between spellcraft and the appropriate saving throw skill.

    Base Attack: Combat attacks are resolved as a challenged skill check between base attack and reflexes. The DC to hit the target is 10+reflexes, or 2d10+reflexes if the target has the dodge feat.

    All these actions are penalised by wounds taken. The damage done by a spell or attack is given by the difference between the skill roll and the target, with a maximum determined by the weapon or the spell. For example, maximum damage for a dagger is 1 wound. Armour can reduce this by up to the damage reduction value of the armour, but a successful attack always does at least one non-fatal wound.

    Ability scores

    The character gets 2 points to distribute between the six scores (strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence, wisdom, charisma), which are represented as positive or negative effects on all the skills they affect. So for example a fighter might choose +2 on strength and constitution, +1 on dexterity, and -1 on the remaining scores.

    Class and non-class skills

    At first level, all players choose 5 skills to be class skills, and the remainder are non-class skills.

    Skill development points

    Characters at first level have 20 skill development points, and then 5 at every level thereafter. Skills are bought at 1 rank for 1 point (class skills) or 1 rank for 2 points (non-class skills).

    Class skills can have a maximum of [level+3] ranks; non-class skills half that (rounded up).

    Feats

    At first level characters take 5 feats. Characters can opt to spend 1 feat on minor magic, 2 feats on major magic, or 1 feat on extra skills.

    Magic and skill feats

    Minor magic: character can use spells of a level up to that of the character. Spells are resolved using a skill appropriate to the realm of magic (e.g. presence for the  Regency School).

    Major magic: characters can use spells of up to [level +3]. Characters need to choose spellcraft as a class skill.

    Extra skills: character gains 24 skill points at first level and 6 per level thereafter.

    Fatal and non-fatal wounds

    Fatal wounds can be healed slowly or by magic, and when a character receives more wounds than their fortitude skill total they are dying.

    Non-fatal wounds are bruising and shock, and heal at a rate of 1 per hour of full rest. If the last wound a character takes before exceeding their fortitude skill total is non-fatal, they go unconscious and do not die.

    That’s the whole character creation system. Characters gain a new feat every 2 levels (including level 2), and a stat increase of +1 every 5 levels. Gaining levels is essentially trivial – distribute 5 skill points and choose a feat. I tend to be pretty casual about what feats can be (witness Anna Labrousse’s powerful voice) and have broken most of the rules at some stage, but that’s because I like characters to be interesting rather than balanced. Does it work? Comments welcome…

  • The Heroes 1: Anna Labrousse

    There has been some talk on other blogs of the benefits of class vs. classlessness (in character creation of course) in RPG systems, to which I would like to contribute by presenting an example of an enchantress developed using a classless system. Here is Anna Labrousse at her current level (6) from the Compromise and Conceit game.

    Anna Labrousse: Level 6

    Ability Scores

    Strength -2, Dexterity 0, Constitution 0, Intelligence +3, Wisdom -1, Charisma +3

    Class Skills

    Spellcraft +12, Concentration +6, Social +9, Perception +3, Presence +8

    Non-class skills

    Reflexes +4, Fortitude +4, Attack (Missile) +0, Attack (Melee) -2, Knowledge(Arcane) +4, Will +0

    Feats

    Major Spell-casting (Regency School); Adventurer (+1 fortitude and perception); Powerful Voice (3/day suggestion effect, presence vs. will);  Supernatural Calm (+2 Presence); Proficiencies (Infernal weapon and Infernal Armour); Alertness (check for secret doors automatically within 3m); Combat casting (make concentration checks to cast spells in combat)

    Spells

    Spell Name DC Note
    The Garden of Proserpine 19+1 per additional target Range 10m; puts target to sleep for 1rd/pt of success; vs. will
    Moll’s Cunning 20 Range self; disguises Anna as someone else for 1 hour per point of success
    Bosch’s Folly 16+1 per lvl of creature Summons a single monster for 1 rd/pt of success
    Honour of the King 17 Increases Anna’s presence by +2 for 1 rd/pt of success
    Spellbinding 21+1 per additional creature Range 10m;Paralyses target for 1 rd. per point of success; vs. will
    Milton’s Grace 19 Increases target’s reflexes and will by +2 for 1 rd/pt of success. Range: touch.
    Grendel’s Demise 24 Rips of target’s arm. Vs. Fortitude

    Weapons and Armour

    Infernal Webbing (Damage Reduction 2, no activity penalty)

    Native Coup-belt (Damage Reduction +1)

    Infernal Pistol (Max. wounds 1, critical 20/+1, range 10m, ignores armour)

    Confustor Field Rod (Range 10m, DC 10 ranged touch, DC 17 fortitude save, 3m radius effect, 10 charges)

  • Some interrogations

    What follows is some background material related to session 10 of the current section of the Compromise and Conceit campaign. Essentially, it is the result of interrogating la Belle Dame sans Merci and a single Irish mercenary.

    Answers to questions: la belle dame sans Merci

    French plans

    • The French are helping the colonials in order to destabilize America and create trouble for the British
    • America is a testing ground for new Infernal technology
    • La Belle Dame facilitates the trade of essentials between the colonials and the French
    • The French primarily provide low-grade weapons, money and raw materials to the colonials through traders like foul-mouthed Jacques
    • The French also provide access to high-grade new Infernal technology through the NWFC
    • The genocide plan at Delaware was not French (la Belle Dame clearly considers this plan distasteful) but was the idea of the colonials around Washington, and the NWFC, which is attempting to clear Delaware lands for its own dubious purposesGenocide of natives in British America strengthens French relations with the natives of New France, which comparatively treats its natives very well.
    • The French think British colonial philosophy is entirely wrong, being brutal and uncompromising, and they think it will always fail. They are happy to encourage the colonials and the British in their foolish conflict, because while they are divided against each other and treat the natives poorly, they are guaranteed to lose America, which will make the French wealthier, and their position in America stronger

    The Arrangement with the North West Frontier Company

    • The North West Frontier Company  (NWFC) is developing a variety of new infernal technology with the help of the French
    • Primarily the NWFC are doing this because they don’t believe Britain can keep a grip on North America in the long term, and they would prefer the colonials and/or the French to take on North America than the Indians
    • The French and the Colonials are negotiating for the NWFC to gain a large stretch of land, probably in Delaware, as sovereign territory in exchange for their help
    • The NWFC partially bank rolls the colonial acquisition of infernal technology. Partly they do this so they can test their new inventions, but also partly they do it so that they can guarantee the colonials remain wedded to infernal technology
    • There are elements in the colonial leadership – particularly in more rural areas –  who are opposed to infernalism in its most naked forms. The NWFC aims to destroy these peoples’ influence through feeding the other factions – particularly those around Washington – with powerful new infernal inventions
    • Part of the cost of these developments is defrayed by the French, who get to share the technology once it is developed
    • The French also have their own equivalent company to the NWFC, the Hudson Bay Company (the HBC), but they don’t want to involve the HBC in these actions because
      1. It would make their seditious activity more obvious, since the HBC isn’t very active in English lands, usually
      2. The French consider this sort of dirty behaviour beneath their own companies, and particularly odious things like the genocide in Delaware are best left to companies “with the moral fibre for that sort of thing” – i.e. British companies
      3. If the activities of the NWFC were uncovered, a conspiracy linking them to the French would not necessarily be obvious
    • La Belle dame sans Merci chiefly dealt with the NWFC through foul-mouthed Jacques, but she also has had dealings with Madame Custis for some more delicate matters.


    The arrangement with the Irish

    This is strictly no business of the French. La Belle dame sans Merci didn’t even know there were Irish mercenaries involved in her rescue until she heard them speaking – and even then she thought they were Scottish (no offence).

    Where was she going?

    To a small beach called Stoneforge, to be picked up by the French Corvette Unfortunate lapse of Discipline. From there, to return to a much-needed retirement in France.

    What is a corvette?

    A small, lightly armed ship of modern design that skims over the water.

    Answers to questions: the Irish Mercenary

    • The Irish mercenary (Danny) was hired in New York 6 months ago
    • The company he works for, The New Shadow Army, is run by a rich Irish businessman based in a small independent island in Newfoundland
    • No-one knows why he is in Newfoundland, but presumably he is an exile from Ireland. No-one knows how he makes his money or why he supports the colonials
    • Currently, most of the New Shadow Army is working for the colonials in security roles, except those guarding the island
    • Soldiers of the New Shadow Army can be ransomed back to their employer, though Danny is only worth 50 gps.

  • Infernal goings on…

    The Core Mechanic has a post up about the things he does when he is DMing, which is a  good thing to learn from others. I do quite a few of the things he does, but here is my list of noteworthy things I do:

    • drink beer, eat takeaway, not always pizza
    • railroad PCs (ah the power) but not often
    • Force a player to recap the previous session at the beginning
    • Do long-winded descriptions, interruptions of which are strongly discouraged
    • Do epic campaigns which often fail to deliver
    • Make up new plotlines on the fly
    • Speak in character (i.e. accents and speech style)
    • Tell players straight-up if they can’t do something
    • Shades of grey – no-one in my campaign is necessarily evil or good
    • Make it all up as I go along
    • Steal shamelessly from movies, comics and other rpgs

    Seems like a fairly normal list of sins to me…

  • An entry from Brian the Woodsman’s diary: August 1755

    Dear diary,
    Please accept my most sincere and humble apologies for not caressing your beauteous pages with my fine script in these last few days.  I am sure you will understand why once i have recounted my most recent adventures.  At the moment, I am huddled next to the forward bulkhead of a small french vessel floating slowly down stream in the vicinity of Albany to the great ocean.  I have to steal a short while away from the others to write this down out of fear of being mocked, primarily by that gawd-awful priest, though these days he jibes are mostly ‘armless.  Get what i did there? haha, some times I surprise even myself with my unbridled wit.  I’ll recount from where I left off, but my memory may seem hazy, 3 trips out with these lunatics and 3 times I am beaten to within an inch of my life/death/deadlike-state-but-still-able-to-drink-potions. Please excuse me if I am starting to see a bit of a pattern occuring here.

    When i last wrote I was in fine fettle, after enjoying an evening repaste with our good friend… erm.. magwa or something.  from there we headed on down to the warehouse of Foul-mouth dan/jake/jack/jon/bob/bartholomew smythe… his name is really not that important.  Fearing the possible presence of one of those myrmadon thingamejigs, we decided to split our forces with good ‘ol Russel and Mr Black heading round back to disable the device while I followed the drunken preist and that English toff round to the front door, where upon I met a couple of fine beasts.  Truely remarkable steeds, two horses of a carniverous variety.  I have since come into a close friendship with both and named them duely.  I usually ride serious Cecil and but I allow the priest to ride shy Cyril.  Anyhow, introductions aside the priest tried to distract a couple of heavily armed elite guards and ended up in a nasty case of fistycuffs with the young currs.  All out fighting ensued where upon being in a courtyard where people with guns were above you in windows and 2 mighty large, well armed and expertly trained soldiers blocking your only cover proved to be a nasty situation.  Things could only improve right? We managed to overpower the two guards and enter the room they were in where-upon I started feasting on one of these mens still twitching hearts.  Nothing delighted me more to break my fast with my newly acquired gormet cuisine when Mr Black suddenly appeared with that look on his face. Yes you know the one, ‘screw you guys… i’m going home’ and he promptly disappeared out of the door I had just come through after mumbling something about a Myrmadon.

    Much to my surprise, and near demise, though in hindsight i should of seen it coming, a Myrmadon crashed through the wall and collapsed a considerable large part of my skull with its fist.  This really had put a dampener on an otherwise enjoyable dinner.  Smarting more than a little and lying prone the only thing i could see is the feet and lower part of the priests robes moving away at great speed and disappearing into the night, oh how things never change. Good old Matilda jumped straight into action, along with Lord ‘whatever his face’.  Through blood smeared eyes I may even have seen Mr Black leap into the fray too.  Russel was no where to be seen, he had probably found an exciting new window to throw himself through.  Needless to say. more through good luck than good management we brought the nasty beasty to a quick demise.

    At this point, father david returned and headed with the others to question those who we had ‘captured’.  I stayed in the coutyard befriending Cecil and Cyril and feeding them various parts of the guards we had murdered. Cecil is particularly fond of the Pancreato-Duodenal junction, where Cyril enjoys the finer taste of the Hypocampal Cortex.

    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………

    After we came to some arrangement with the survivor we headed back to Albany and decided to spy on the house of some rich bitch.  I was set to watch the back garden when a boat loaded with another six highly armed, highly trained soldiers, (where are the days of fighting untrained country bumpkins gone?) came to the mansion.  Somehow, knowing that at some point soon, these thugs would be enjoying, the all too common leisure activity of caving my skull in, made me cry.  Well i waited till they had departed and rounded up the others to go and hunt them down.  We were left in the situation where we had to walk, (not run!) across 60 metres of river, (something I’m not really aux fait with) through a barrage of gunfire and then fight through 6 guards and 2 mages.  Mr Black seemed to have managed to avoid this encounter altogether, crying off that he had a sore throat or something… hurummpf.  That left the pervert priest myself and Russel to do the dirty work, whilst lord high and mighty, pomposity himself stood on the river back and gave us, ‘covering fire’ how noble of him!!!!!!!!!!!!!11     <—– 😉

    Well of course, we got stuck right in there.  No sooner had matilda and myself joined battle I was surprised by a wholly holy whole arm flying over my head and landing in the river behind me.  Our poor priest seemed to have located his very own Beowulf, and suffered the same fate as the pitiful beast grendel.

    Such things becoming more commonly expected these days, I tried to remain as unperturbed as possible and got down with a bit of killing.  This went largely very well, but over the following few moments, I was being rapidly stabbed to death whilst dealing out reasonable amounts of whopah myself.  However, much praise must be given to the late Matilda for a most spectacularly rapid evisceration of Madame Le Belle St thankyou.  Much glory must be given to Russel who was in full swing chopping everywhich way and felling guardsman like paedophillic Irish priests. Speaking of father cantrus, he recovered a little after having a healing potion forced down his throat and then started healing us all up a little by little.  The combat finished as quickly as it began with everyone else dead but the victorious quartet, well three and three quarter of us. So I have taken this small oppertunity of quiet to divulge the most recent events to you, my beloved diary.  this entry is done in the name of my lovely Matilda and her untimely demise.  i will miss her dearly… well until tomorrow when I’ll summon her again =)

  • Compromise and Conceit 9: Plots

    The characters now spent considerable time discussing their next move. Much of this time was spent discussing what to do with the laboratory. Should they destroy it, or use it to research a cure for the plague, or steal it and  have a genocide-plague-inducing machine of their very own? Decisions were not made, but it was clear that they did not have the research skills to do it themselves, so they must ship it back to Albany along with the remains of a Myrmidon. They chose to ship it to Miss Cora Munro, the only person in Albany they considered both trustworthy and intelligent.

    The characters also discussed extensively the serious concern that perhaps the French and the colonials were working together, and had duped the Northwest Frontier Company into helping them. Is there any depth of sinister plotting to which Washington would not stoop? Father Cantrus was further enraged and encouraged to, in his quaint Irish vernacular, “gank” the famous colonial hero.

    Washington, however, being nowhere to be found, the characters decided to instead visit Foul-Mouthed Jacques in nearby Thorntown, “gank” his guards, and interrogate him as only Dave Black can. They headed straight to Thorntown, Brian the Woodman and Dave Black being now partially healed by dint of the powerful effect of eating human hearts, and arrived in time for dusk. Setting watch on Jacques’ warehouse they soon discovered him inside with David Williamson, late of the now sepulchral Thorn Lodge. There was also strong evidence of 2 Myrmidons in a crate, and 2 elite guards.

    The characters’ plan was very simple. Father Cantrus knocked on the rear door of the warehouse, pretending to be a drunk looking for the tavern, and in the distraction Russell Ganymede and Brian the Woodman would creep through the front entrance, so that Ganymede could try and use his infernalism to take control of one or both of the packaged Myrmidons. First, however, Ganymede used a summoned demon to seal Jacques and Williamson inside the upstairs office of the building. They would then be easily able to destroy their opponents. Should that fail, Ganymede would die horribly while the remainder of the group fled.

    Battle was joined, Ganymede failed to control the construct, and horrid violence ensued. Father Cantrus did indeed run away, and in the heat of battle Williamson could be heard cursing and then shooting foul-mouthed Jacques so as to prevent him talking to his enemies. The characters did manage to destroy both the Myrmidon and the two elite soldiers, though they came perilous close to being totally overrun; and in the end they cut Williamson down as he attempted to escape. Father Cantrus just managed to save the life of foul-mouthed Jacques, and they found themselves in full possession of all his documents, and his wide-eyed person. Whatever would Dave Black do next…?

  • Compromise and Conceit 8: Myrmidons!

    We last left our characters hidden in the forest, looking upon a small stone building whose door was guarded by two Myrmidons. Now we find them moving in for the kill, with Lord Epsom St. Helier walking forward trying to bluff his way past the Myrmidons, and Dave Black creeping up through the shadows behind him. Unfortunately Lord St. Helier’s attempts at bluffing the password did not work, and the nearest Myrmidon attacked. The other Myrmidon attacked Dave Black, cutting him down with a massive blow to the chest which left him dying where he fell.

    Battle was joined immediately and ferociously. The Myrmidon proved themselves both tough and fast, both having some kind of high-speed semi-teleportation mechanism which enabled them to close on distant foes with dizzying speed. This speed enabled one of them to cut down Brian the Woodsman, and Father David Cantrus was at his wits’ end rushing around the battle trying to prevent the Myrmidon’s victims from dying. Fortunately Brian’s spectral hound managed to finally bring down one of the Myrmidons, and Russell Ganymede the other. At the cost of only 2 of their number hors de combat, the characters were able to break through the door and into the small building.

    Inside the building they found the source of the plague infecting the Indians, a strange Infernal device which turned mild toxins into a potent plague-source, and dumped it into the river which fed many of the downstream Indian villages. They removed the chemicals and poured most of them into the river, temporarily preventing the plague spreading, but kept sufficient amounts to enable them to research a cure for the plague (or to develop a plague which could target a different race or group of people) with sufficient research.

    Our heroes then found a tunnel leading back to the house, and took it even though 2 of their number would be able to do little more than watch any battles. The tunnel led – unsurprisingly – to the wizard’s study, but Dave Black was seen by the wizard when he peered through the tunnel entrance, and battle was joined. The characters quickly killed the wizard, though he blew Russell Ganymede out of the window, but within moments all 50 of the Chalet’s guards came pouring up the stairs. The characters were forced to separate, with Russell Ganymede and Brian the woodman running to the main gates while Dave Black, Lord St Helier and Father Cantrus fled or limped back down the tunnel to the lab. These three, upon reaching the lab, barricaded the tunnel entrance with crates and boxes and prepared to sell their lives dearly.

    Meanwhile, Russell Ganymede and Brian the Woodman waited in the silent dark outside the gates for Magua, who they realised must be their only hope. He took some time to show, however, and by the time he emerged from the darkness behind Ganymede, soldiers were charging across the yard towards them. Ganymede explained the situation rapidly and before he realised they were there, Magua’s entire warband of 10 braves was speeding into the Chalet grounds, whereupon they cut down the pursuing soldiers. They charged to the house, Ganymede and the Woodman doing their best to keep up. Upon entering the main hall, Brian the Woodman found himself face to face with two snipers on the stairs. This pair were cut down by tomahawks from behind, which flew straight and true across a wide distance and buried themselves in the wall behind their eviscerated victims, before flying back through the air to the savages who had hurled them. From there it was up the undefended stairs and into the tunnel down which the characters had disappeared, and a hectic flight through the darkness towards the lanterns of the distant soldiers, and the pounding of their boots and shoulders on the door to the lab.

    As the Mohicans approached the door Ganymede and Brian could see it was partially battered open, and Lord St. Helier’s pistols could be heard loud in the hallway as he desperately shot down anyone foolish enough to place themselves in the way. But before the door could collapse the Mohican descended upon the soldiers, and in several minutes’ thick brutality they hacked their adversaries to bits. The characters were able to emerge from the cover of the door just in time to hear the cries of the last of the dying soldiers, and to be presented with the still-beating hearts of their victims. These they duly ate, of course, for one does not refuse a gift from a battle-bloodied mohican brave, no matter its gristly horror.

    Once the battle was done and their breath (and courage) regained, the characters explored the lab and the wizard’s room. They uncovered several clues to dastardly plots:

    • A book of experimental results from the development of the machine, which would be of some assistance in researching the machine
    • A set of notes taken from the wizards room, also covering experiments but much more poorly kept  and not of the same quality as those used in producing the machine
    • Evidence that the Myrmidons were delivered by the North West Frontier Company, an ostensibly British company, via Foul-mouthed Jacques (a French trader)

    The characters discovered Foul-Mouthed Jacques has a warehouse in town, and proceeded to disembowel him…