A crawling abomination from the pits of hell...

I spent today engaged in a profane and sacrilegious ritual such as would incur the wrath even of the Old Ones[1]: Installing Windows 7 on my 20″ iMac, which only has Mac OS 10.4 on it. I leave it to you, dear reader, to judge whether or not the greatest profanity lies in the act itself; my choice of desktop pattern; or my choice of game.

I had a variety of problems getting this done:

  • my iMac was bought in a store, and came with a (non-functional) windows partition installed already; this had to be formatted before bootcamp would work, which meant backing up the whole system
  • bootcamp is no longer available, so I had to get it from somewhere (one of the many preparatory rituals)
  • bootcamp doesn’t work any more unless you set back the clock on your apple, which I did
  • windows 7 takes so long to boot up after initial install that I thought it wasn’t working, and spent 30 minutes faffing with it before, finally, distracted by a book, I stopped paying attention and it started itself
  • windows drivers for iMacs are created by bootcamp; but the ones made by bootcamp for MacOS 10.4 don’t work with windows 7, so I had to find the latest ones (from 10.5) somewhere (a ritual enacted on the fly today)
  • The Witcher has an immediate incompatibility with windows 7 in, suprise! its copyright protection software, which acts like you don’t have administrator rights. You can download the latest version from the tages website, or find a nocd crack
  • The Witcher ultimate edition update is free to download but the installation gets in this weird circle of doom, where it won’t install without the language pack, but the language pack won’t install without the update. I solved this by dumping both in the witcher’s folder in the program files – then they both worked fine. This was the most arcane and mysterious of my day’s rituals
  • I didn’t really know where mac OS preferences go, but I finally found them

So now I have a fully functioning version of Mac OS 10.4.11 on a 180 Gb partition, and a fully (?) functioning version of Windows 7 on a 45 Gb partition, just enough for some stats software and a computer game. I have a 128Mb ATI graphics card which handles The Witcher nicely on reasonable resolution and detail, and may be able to cope with Dragon Age. I received the Witcher 2 years ago for christmas but it was just too slow on my old laptop and I’ve been 2 years waiting for the chance to play it. Unfortunately I have a contract job to do on the weekends, and last-minute travel, so won’t get very far before xmas… sigh … and then I may be buying a new iMac so will have to do the whole thing again!

Still, I’ve proven in principle that such evil is easy for mortal men. After this, the merely mundane workings of Ultimate Evil that I had aspired to – sacrificing children, eating babies, summoning ancient Gods to rule the world, making statues of Jesus and drowning them in piss – seem pale shadows of the great works which I can now achieve[2]. I have invoked Windows in the purest of sanctuaries, and defiled all that is pure and beautiful with my dark magic!!!

fn1: you can see one of the Old Ones crawling towards my work of evil to the right hand side of the photo

fn2: though now I’m pondering a greater darkness – could I dredge up an old Sun Sparcstation, that purest of computers, from somewhere, and install Windows 95 on it? Then I would truly be the most sinister servant of the dark lord…